We keep saying we know God is going to work in us and through this.  "This" being a cancer diagnosis. God is already at work and we can see His hand during what should be a ridiculously scary experience.  I don't know why but I'm still hesitant to bare my soul about everything.  (I'm not as strong as my husband is). But for those who want to keep in the know, Joe's blog is here.  He named it Walking Through the Fire because from the beginning Isaiah 43:1-5 has been a bible passage we've stood on. The first few verses are below:

It goes on to say that we are precious and honored and God loves us and to not be afraid because he is with us.

Joe thought a blog would be helpful to keep friends and family up to date on what is happening.  He also wanted to chronicle this journey so we could look back and see how God wove everything together for his glory and our good. It scares me to type that because there is a very real threat to our family here and it's one I have to constantly bring under subjection.  I can't succumb to the fear.  I made up my mind to trust God every step of the way. Trust him when the biopsy goes wrong (Trust him that Joe needs a biopsy in the first place).  Trust him during a 3:30 am trip to the ER after the biopsy. Trust him when the diagnosis is in fact "cancer."  TRUST him.  I'm believing for complete healing for my husband.  But I'm not trusting in that.  I'm trusting in the Lord.  Whatever happens.  Whatever comes.  I trust God.

The Sunday after everything happened the song "Oceans" by Hillsong came on during the worship service at my church and it was as if my feet had a mind of their own.  I nearly ran to the altar, fell to my knees, and praised God. I praised Him because He is GOOD. I praised Him for carrying our family through this journey. I praised Him because it was all I could do.  The bridge to the song goes like this:

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

Read more: Hillsong United - Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

I couldn't have said it better myself.  I want TRUST without borders.  He's taking me deeper than my feet could ever wander.  I want my faith to be made stronger. And I want to remain in his presence.  A friend said to me, Victims say "Why me?" Victor's say "What now?"  And I would add "Lord."  



I'm copying Joe's blog- I love that he ends each post with a song.  Here's the entire song "Oceans":

I don't know when and if I'll be comfortable posting details about everything we've gone through with my husband's health over the last week and a half. It's amazing how everything can change in an instant.  For now I will say that on Friday we will receive an official diagnosis as to whether he does in fact have Cancer, if it is Lymphoma (which they suspect), and which type. This post isn't about that.  Well I suppose it sort of is.  But mostly it's about the absolute love we've seen pouring out as a result of that.  Quick tangent: I'm really tired of Christians dissing the church--as in the Body of Christ.  Yes we have our faults and are not above being lovingly challenged.  But if I read one more article detailing what Christians need to stop doing, I might throw my laptop across the room.  Oh wait, Nadia already did that.  Hence my lost family reunion photos catastrophe.  But I'm tangenting from my tangent.  Anyway, the church has its faults.  Last time I checked it was made up of a bunch of humans.  So yeah, there's that.  But the body of believers I belong to...I have no words to describe the love these people have for others.  Both inside the walls of the church and outside.  If I have ever hated on the church, these past few days have made me slap my own wrist, bite my own tongue, and question my messed up motives.  These people are the hands and feet of Christ.  If he was here on Earth, he'd be hugging me, crying with me, comforting me, healing me, helping me.  He's not. So they do it on his behalf.  Let me show you what love is:

As for the food, I was a little nervous about it. It was only immediate family but other than Joe’s birthday, I've barely hosted anything without my mama’s help.  I decided on a brunch mostly because I love breakfast food but also because it’s easy and inexpensive.  I was careful to choose a menu that would allow me to do most of the prep the night before.